Float Our Boat

Welcome, new readers!

2009-03-25T08:48:00.001-07:00

I just found out from an angry blog post comment that Bayliner Magazine published an article about us. Sweet!

To update you, the commenter called us idiots, and said we should earn enough to buy a boat like everyone else. Well, we were trying and came up with this blog and raffle idea as a way to do that. Sure, it's silly and likely impossible. But hey—it makes some fun reading.

For example, I heard back from Phil Collins "people." Turns out his office is in England, but he lives in Switzerland. He has kids that live here in B.C. And Mr. Anonymous will be happy, because he didn't buy a raffle ticket. No word back yet from Eric Clapton.

So let me know—are we idiots who think Obama will help us buy a Bayliner, or is this blog just an entertaining read? We're aiming for the latter, but if Mr. Obama wants to "stimulate" us, we won't turn him down.

Smooth waters!

Address change!

2009-01-12T11:58:00.000-08:00

Hey, everyone! You can still buy raffle tickets, no worries there, but please send your orders to this address:

#31-6450 Blackwood Lane
Chilliwack, BC
V2R 5Z3

Thanks!

Hi Bayliner Magazine Readers!

2009-01-03T16:20:00.000-08:00

Our first media interview!

We recently had the honour (yes, Canadian spelling, get over it) of being interviewed by Roger Kamholz, and editor of BAYLINER MAGAZINE! He found our blog and wanted the detailed story of how it aaaaallllll came about.

It was a great conversation–thanks Roger! We're looking forward to entertaining your readers on our blog, and directing all 50 readers to Bayliner Magazine.

Happy boating in 2009!

Larry & Christina Aguilera GET IT ON!

2008-12-13T22:58:00.000-08:00

Enjoy.

How close to the $100,000 are we?

2008-12-13T09:40:00.000-08:00

Well, in late August I would have been able to tell you that we only had $97,177 to go. Pretty awesome, right? That's a combination of raffle ticket sales (thanks to our largest buyer, Pops!) and the adjustments we'd made in our lifestyle habits.

And then work slowed down for Jer-Bear. And then the economy fell apart and all Jer-Bear's work went away. Now even my day job is being cut back 20% as of January, with who knows what on the horizon.

So now we are back to the starting point. Which is okay, because in these times–especially when you factor in that Olympic Boat Centers have closed–I'm sure the price of a Bayliner 300 is less than $100,000.

Right Bayliner? Bayliner? Hello?

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Dear Phil...

2008-11-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

Here's my letter to Phil:

Dear Mr. Phil Collins, I’m writing to you because you would be doing me a huge favour if you purchased some raffle tickets in a draw I’m having. My boyfriend Jer-Bear and I are trying to raise money to buy a beautiful Bayliner 300. Now, I wish I could say honestly that I was a huge fan, but I’m not really. I do have your album “No Jacket Required” and I like the song “Take Me Home,” but I haven’t listened to it in years, mostly because I don’t have a turntable any more. I mainly wrote to you because I heard you were living or had lived in British Columbia, and I am a native of that province. I hope you’ll feel a kinship with me on that count, or perhaps because I love the British version of almost every TV and movie much more than the American version (especially The Office), or because I have fond memories of watching the Dave Allen Show with my dad years ago – and maybe you share those same feelings. Here’s the standard paragraph I always tell famous people: Now, I’m sure you get a lot of crackpot letters asking for money, or sex (as mentioned in your book) or even both. How often has someone ever written you a letter asking to sell you 3 raffle tickets for $1? That’s Canadian dollars, by the way. Although we’ll also take pounds or euros, but at par. I know that means the exchange rate will be in our favour, but come on! You’re a rich rock star and we’re just a guy and a girl working full time and trying to live our dream. Anyway, if you’d like to buy some tickets, here is the address to send your money: Float Jeremy & Nala's Boat! #2444 Unit 304-7592 Vedder Road Sardis, BC, Canada, V2R 1B0 Visit our blog at www.floatourboat.blogspot.com too, because writing to famous people is one of my crazy ideas to get this boat, and I always talk about my crazy ideas on the blog. Oh, and if you have friends who might want a chance to win $500, feel free to share this letter with them. Although you don’t need to tell Eric Clapton, because I wrote him first. Don’t be offended by that–I read his book and enjoyed it, and since he’s a boat owner it made sense for him to be the first. Sincerely and with the highest regard, Nala

My p.s. to Phil was in two parts, as I found out some new info:

P.S. Visiting our blog will help us too - the more traffic the better! Thanks! P.P.S. I found your address ona fansite where it ALSO said "Phil Collins' boat is named 'Fil D 'Or II'. So you ARE a boat lover and can understand our mission! I feel so good about that, I'm going to buy a couple songs on i-Tunes. Don't worry - they're your songs.

I bought "Another Day in Paradise" and "Follow Me Follow You."

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Dear Eric...

2008-11-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

I recently mailed Eric Clapton a letter to see if he'll buy some raffle tickets. Here's is the text:

Dear Mr. Eric Clapton,

I wanted to write and tell you how much I enjoyed reading your book “Clapton The Autobiography.” I am a big fan of British rock, alternative and blues music. I’ve always felt I was born too late (1966) and didn’t get to see my favorites in their prime, although there’s a good argument to be made that you’re most recent years are your prime in terms of enjoying life.

I was very interested to read that you’d purchased a 150 foot yacht a few years back. The second reason for this letter was to say that our dream is to purchase a 30 foot cruiser. Since we don’t want to borrow money to do this, we are telling the story of our quest through our blog (www.floatourboat.blogspot.com) and selling raffle tickets. The raffle will be for $500, which we will hold when we’ve raised enough money to buy the boat.

Now, I’m sure you get a lot of crackpot letters asking for money, or sex (as mentioned in your book) or even both. How often has someone ever written you a letter asking to sell you 3 raffle tickets for $1? That’s Canadian dollars, by the way. Although we’ll also take pounds or euros, but at par. I know that means the exchange rate will be in our favour, but come on! You’re a rich rock star and we’re just a guy and a girl working full time and trying to live our dream.

Anyway, if you’d like to buy some tickets, here is the address to send your money:

Float Jeremy & Nala's Boat!
#2444 Unit 304-7592 Vedder Road
Sardis, BC
V2R 1B0
Canada

Visit our blog at the above address too, because writing to famous people is one of my crazy ideas to get this boat, and I always talk about my crazy ideas.

Oh, and if you have friends who might want a chance to win $500, feel free to share this letter with them. Although I’ll understand if you want to keep the opportunity to yourself!

Sincerely and with the highest regard,

Nala

It's alway important to add a p.s. because it's one of the most-read parts of a sales letter. Here's my handwritten p.s.

If you're a little short, maybe you could write us back? I couldn't part with your letter on ebay, but it would drive some traffic to our blog. Many thanks!

Do you think he'll respond?

raffle, boating, Bayliner

The Texas dream is over

2008-11-05T00:00:00.000-08:00

Our baby was just too far away and had too many complications - the main one being we couldn't join the frickin' forum to contact the guy giving her away to get more details on the extent of the damage.

Sometimes discussion forums are elitist and/or lazy bastards.

Have a great day!

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Crazy Idea #6: Letters to Famous People

2008-11-03T10:52:00.000-08:00

People write letters to lottery winners and celebrities all the time, right? So why not write to famous people we think would be sympathetic to our massive dream??

Watch for our letters later this week. Any response we receive will be posted here. Hopefully they'll buy a few raffle tickets too!

raffle, boating, Bayliner

This could be an exciting time!

2008-10-21T11:02:00.000-07:00

Here is an excerpt from a great letter written by a hedge fund manager closing up shop:

"Capitalism worked for two hundred years, but times change, and systems become corrupt. George Soros, a man of staggering wealth, has stated that he would like to be remembered as a philosopher. My suggestion is that this great man start and sponsor a forum for great minds to come together to create a new system of government that truly represents the common man’s interest, while at the same time creating rewards great enough to attract the best and brightest minds to serve in government roles without having to rely on corruption to further their interests or lifestyles. This forum could be similar to the one used to create the operating system, Linux, which competes with Microsoft’s near monopoly."

My own highlights are in blue. Sometimes things get so bad it's time to start over. What an exciting opportunity outlined above for the U.S. and perhaps the world–an opportunity to start over the right way, with the right focus.

Here is a link to the full letter.

Sorry to take the boat blog into politics, but then again I'm not :)

Free Bayliner cont'd

2008-10-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

So here's what this baby could look like if we got it all fixed up.

Jerbear says he isn't keen on a single motor, but if our cost for getting this starts at $2,000 or so, isn't that worth it? We found this one for sale for $18,500. The trick is spending less than that to get her in shape.

Hmmm... food for thought. Mmmmm... food...

Damn I hate it when I get distracted.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

FREE Bayliner cont'd

2008-10-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

I had to show the actual post here, because I still can't believe it.

Damn, I guess it's kinda hard to read, huh? Okay, I'll type it out.

Yes! Free. All you have to do is come pick it up. This boat wsa sunk due to IKE in about 4 feet of water. Insurance has processed it as a "Total Loss" and has now left me to dispose of it. I will even give you the clear title. The boat was removed from the water approx. 4 days after the storm. If I don't find someone who wants my baby, it will break my heart to cut her up and just throw her away. Hull is in great shape and would make a good project for someone who has the time and resources.

Now, we're trying to get pictures, because in my mind giving away a 1995 2855 Ciera seems pretty extreme. I will be very interested to see what "Total Loss" actually looks like!

We'll keep you posted. In the meantime, I don't care what the flippin' economy is doing - buy some rafflle tix you guys!

raffle, boating, Bayliner

OMG a FREE Bayliner!!!

2008-10-11T17:27:00.000-07:00

...if we drive 2,400 miles to Seabrook, TX. 37 hours, $900 in fuel, 7 nights worth of meal and hotel rooms (I don't care what you say, Jerbear, I'm not good doing the "Truck-Stop Motel')

To put it in perspective, here's a map showing what our journey would be.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Discuss amongst yourself...

2008-10-06T14:24:00.000-07:00

whether we will see boat prices drop. I hope so.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Mmmmm.... chocolate!

2008-09-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

We have been obsessively entering this contest at Cadbury's website. I have never bought so much chocolate in my life!! You can enter each chocolate bar's UPC code. So far, I have almost 100 entries.

A different part of this promotion is a photo contest. We specially baked a cake and covered it with individual Caramilk pieces. We wrapped our party hats in the foil from the bars too.

I don't know if this photo will be one of the three we're allowed to enter, but isn't Brandon's expression hilarious?

Happy 40th birthday, Caramilk!

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Waaaahhhh-h-h-h (hiccup) AAAaaahhhh!

2008-09-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

In case you couldn't tell, we are saddened that Olympic Boat Centers is going out of business for good and for real. NOW how will we see our baby? Who's going to shower her with affection and stroke her wheel and throttle every three weeks or so? How dare they mess with our visitation rights!

Well, I'm sure Bayliner will find a new delivery solution. They still have boats to sell, right? Hey, how long do you think they'd notice the deception if we open a fake store? Hmmm...

raffle, boating, Bayliner

SOLD! To the gentleman with the fast fingers

2008-09-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

We sold our weight bench. I'd listed it here, but also on Craiglist. Within 5 minutes somebody e-mailed me. The next day they came and picked it up. Bam! Gone.

Now I want to lift weights. That song was right. You really don't know what you got til it's gone.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Hello, extreme home makeover fans!

2008-09-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of the outside of the 1987 home we've got an offer on. Here's that post I was warning you about... what colour should we paint it next year?

Thanks for the colour comments!

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Sidetracked ever so slightly

2008-09-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

So here's the thing. We're moving. At least, we found a great house that kicks @$$ compared to our townhouse, and our offer's been accepted subject to selling our place.

If I could take a picture of our crappy neighbour/strata council member and tell you the stories of why he hates us, you'd totally understand why we want to bug out of dodge.

However, OUR DREAM IS STILL ALIVE. We have to scale back on the lottery ticket buying a bit, but we're still selling three-for-a-dollar raffle tickets, so buy some!

And of course, we're still going to implement some of our crazy schemes (like the weight loss booklet and a new one I just thought of but haven't posted about.) And I'm pretty sure I'll still be able to blog almost every day. But I may be a little distracted and some of the posts might be called "Hey, can you help us pick kitchen colours?"

So I apologize in advance. But seriously. Start looking at colours, okay?

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Bayliner dreams

2008-09-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

Bayliner's tagline is "Where fun lives." I find that interesting, because I never thought fun had a home or a hometown or anything like that. Because if it did, it would be a lot easier for people to go there to visit, and most of the world would be happier. Don't you think? Unless it was a transatlantic flight, which are brutal to make on a regular basis.

Anyway, I went to their public site recently because I wanted to screen capture a photo of our baby for the blog. So I try out there fun game called "Find the right boat for you" which isn't really a game OR fun, because after I entered all the details that I knew matched a Bayliner 300, I got this:

It's hard to read, but it says "Based on the choices you've made, we have 0 results." And yes, just to bash me over the head and make me feel inadequate, the "0 results" is in bold.

So then I browsed through other parts of the site and found a parts manual, an owner's manual, trailering instructions, and lots of fun pictures of families with kids on the water having FUN, and I realized - www.bayliner.com is where fun lives! Cool.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

For sale: Weight bench and weights

2008-09-16T19:00:00.000-07:00

In Chilliwack, B.C.

This weight bench is in fairly pristine condition, lucky for you, because I am a huge procrastinator and the only thing I've done regularly is walk to work and use my treadmill. It even comes with the sexy Rubbermaid tub and puzzle-piece floormat. I'll throw in the fact that my cat autographed them around the edges with his teeth.

It has adjustable barbell rest, leg curl, pec fly, lat tower, curl pad, various weight plates, additional free weights, rubber pad, original exercise poster and tub to hold weights. Asking $150, but will negotiate. Must sell because it won't fit on our dream Bayliner 300 that we are buying next week when we win the lottery or in 20 years when we've saved for it or earned it.

E-mail me at floatourboat@gmail.com if you're interested.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Crazy Idea #5 - Blackmail

2008-09-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

When you think of all those forwarded e-mail floating around that have all those gooey pictures of kittens and stuff, and say things like "if you forward this to seven friends in the next seven minutes you'll have seven wishes come true" you have to wonder... do people do that?

They must, because people will buy magic crystals from the ads in the back of magazines like The Enquirer. And sea monkeys from the backs of comic books. My mom once told me sea monkeys were just brine shrimp. I didn't understand why that was supposed to burst my bubble, cuz who cared what they really were when the little girl ones had bouncy hair and a hair ribbon!

I digress.

So sending those e-mail is a kind of emotional blackmail. "How dare you not forward good thoughts to seven friends!" And it's not like they're promising bad luck, they're promising the good kind! Life maybe getting a parking spot right in front of the grocery store, or (in Canada) finding a quarter left in the buggy so you don't have to go back to your car in the pouring rain to go through your ashtray-slash-change drawer for that elusive quarter.

But how can I send an e-mail that emotionally blackmails people into buying a raffle ticket. I just asked Jer-bear and he said I should put "Hey guys, forward this to seven of your friends and you'll wake up with seven inches." I don't know if seven inches is good or not, or if I should even be putting that in this blog, but what the hell. It sounds like something a guy would do, and it means I don't have to put "boobs" or "hot college girls" in here superfluously.

Oh, he just qualified that idea with "Buy a raffle ticket and gain an extra inch."

I think the wrong one of us is in advertising.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

More chances to win...

2008-09-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

because NOW you can buy one ticket for 50¢

OR

three tickets for a $1!

Crap, that's one ticket for free! How can you turn that down? You'd have to be insane or mathematically challenged.

Get our address by clicking on this raffle image:

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Astoria Road Trip: Final Installment

2008-09-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

Our trip back was actually filled with strange adventure. And nothing starts a trip like that better than a healthy meal!

Midway, we were attached by gnomes of unusually large size...

but luckily the Navy came to our defense.

Jer-bear's stepmom recently got Mac-ified, so we had a bit of a geek fest while the PC boys were sulking by the shed.

And then, despite having visited several times, we forgot how to get back home! Thank goodness Larry could help us by reading grandpa's charts we'd brought back.

Then we overstayed our welcome and Larry started burning our belongings, so we figured we'd better leave.
We were so tired, our faces were permanently blurred. And for some reason, my head swelled to a freakishly large size.

Not only did Canada welcome us back with open arms, she welcomed every item in our truck personally. After 20 hours, we arrived back home at 1 a.m. Whew!

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Astoria Road Trip: Part 6

2008-09-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

These kinds of things are never actually fun. All your life, you grow up with these things surrounding you, and then at some point you have to come back and weed out which memories you'll keep and which ones have to go. And because it is so different and so personal for everyone, you have to check and double-check things as simple as keys or books.

Check out the beautiful wooden coffered (I think that's the right term) ceiling, and natural hardwood floors.

James Dean was alway spouting off. See him on the left, instigating things while they're trying to roll up the carpet? In the end we had to throw him in the truck to get him to shut up. Now he's instigating in our garage.

It was tough for Jo. There were piles called "good will", "almost good will" and "probably too good for good will." And of course, far too many decisions.

Jer-Bear had never spent so much time in his grandpa's room with his grandpa's belongings before.

And after this, time to hit the road.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Astoria Road Trip: Part 5

2008-09-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

Visiting Jer-Bear's grandma and grandpa's house really was like walking through the past. Check out these vintage items you just don't see anymore:

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Astoria Road Trip: Part 4

2008-09-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you see things that really appeal to your aesthetic. These shots were like that:

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Astoria Road Trip: Part 3

2008-09-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

Our trip even brought us within spitting distance of an Olympic Boat Center. Okay, I guess you'd have to be a world champion spitter... however, I did get this amazing shot off at 70 miles an hour.

Imagine how fast WE will look when we are in our Bayliner 300 and others are trying to take OUR picture!

Astoria has some famous stuff going on. Like, it was the setting for The Goonies. And... well, I guess that's all I know about. However, James Dean was at the house when we got there. Pretty hot, eh? Of course we took him home with us.

And there were some very scary things in Grandpa's house, like this torture instrument from long ago. If you don't think school was torture in the olden days (I've heard the "Torture Story" from both my dad and my former dad-in-law, neither of whom are liars or exagerators) so it must be true. Plus, just look at this desk, right?

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Astoria Road Trip: Part 2

2008-09-09T00:00:00.001-07:00

The I-5 is very bumpy. It is a real challenge for professional photographers.

Turns out the Jer-Bear does not like bright flashes early in the morning.

See how unblurry the Space Needle is? You'd never know we were going full out on the highway. Of course, there were about 8 bad ones before this.

Mt. Ranier is beautiful. And man, is this car ride was boring. We ran out of conversation about 2.5 hours ago.

We had about two hours of good radio, and then we were incommunicado in the wilds of the southwestern Washington forest. Travel time to Astoria would end up being 5.5 hours.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Astoria Road Trip: Part 1

2008-09-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

OMG, you know it will be a long day when it starts like this:

And while Jer-Bear's Grandpa Ed didn't have a Bayliner, he left Jer-Bear some great boat-related items after he passed away in July. And this was our trip down to Astoria to pick them up.

The first hurdle is always National Security. Which looks like this at 4:30 a.m.

And for some reason, I just wanted to add a picture of Niko's wagging butt.

It's wagging so fast it's ALMOST INVISIBLE.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Those aren't FLUFFY PILLOWS!!

2008-09-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

...they are beautiful fluffy clouds.

Don't they look so soft? Don't you want to reach out and click on their fluffiness...

Oops! It linked you to our raffle draw! Don't fluffy, pretty clouds make you want to buy a raffle ticket? Don't they?

Bionic Eyes

2008-09-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

Most people, no matter how inept they may be at most of life’s things, are really good at SOMETHING. Like Jer-Bear. Now I haven’t found anything that Jer-Bear is inept at, unlike myself, but he’s a guy that can figure things out, like how to fix things. And not just how to fix things half-assed, like the way I would fix things because I don’t really know how to fix things, I just think you can wrap it, join it or cover it with duct tape and it’s all good. But he fixes things the right way, so that if that Mike Holmes guy came over and looked at it, he’d say “Now that’s the right way to fix that.”

Some people are good at style. Like Dara has a knack for knowing how to put an outfit together. That might not sound like much, but I will never buy a clothing item now without taking her shopping with me. She’s a thousand times better than the sales people at picking the right colour, right style and right accompanying garment (because you can’t go into a dressing room without a complete outfit.) I love her to death, but most of the time as soon as she hangs up the phone she’s pretty much forgotten everything whoever was on the other end told her–unless it’s her friend Jayme. But I digress into the bottomless land that is teen world.

I’m okay at a lot of things, but the one thing I have a knack for is finding stuff with my eyes. Not finding the roll of toilet paper I JUST had in my hand two minutes ago (found in the living room) or those papers I was supposed to bring to work (left them in fridge–still can’t figure THAT one out), but little things, like once when I was little I was out riding my bike and I found a ten dollar bill laying on the ground in the gravel. And last week I found a crumpled up five dollar bill lying around in Wal-Mart. And once, when we were grouse hunting with Jer-Bear’s dad, I spotted one of the little fellers on a stump in the bush. I won’t tell you about how he took so long to shoot at it that it flew farther into the bush, and he tramped after it for about 15-20 minutes with no luck but a lot of swear words. I’ll just tell you the part how he was really impressed with my BIONIC EYESIGHT (Ok, “bionic eyesight” are my words, but I bet if someone had asked right there “How did she even SEE that?!” he would have said “I dunno – she must have bionic eyesight or SOMEthing.” I’m pretty sure that’s how it would have gone.)

So yesterday, when we were on our way to drop Jer-Bear’s kids off to their mom, we stopped by to see “our” boat. Sadly, they were closed and they had our baby locked up with the other lonely boats, not allowing anyone to coo and fawn over them and make love to them with our eyes from a shorter distance then the while wrought iron fence.

But while we were there, Jeremy found a penny. A CANADIAN penny. At the boat store. Is that not fate?! Then this morning, and I don’t know how this can get any more amazing, Jer-Bear finds a dime at the corner store.

He picks it up and gets into the truck and says “A penny yesterday, a dime today! That’s 11 cents for doing nothing!”

And I’m thinking “Hey, you can’t steal my magic power.” And now, if he finds one more thing with his eyes, I may cut him.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Richard Dreyfuss, how do you do it?

2008-09-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

Solitaire is a great game. A great, great game. And there’s lot of versions of it. My dad played it a lot and taught me a really hard version which I’m so-so at. My first FAMOUS encounter with it was in the movie Jaws, when Richard Dreyfuss is playing the cascading card style of regular solitaire on a boat. On a boat!! It’s the perfect game for being on a boat when you’ve proved for the twelfth time you can’t tie that knot and you know the next offer to try again is going to get you thrown off (ahem, me and not Richard Dreyfuss. His knot-tying skills were really good in that movie, as I recall.) Oh, and another thing. In the movie the shark DOESN’T EAT Richard Dreyfuss. So there you go about the powers of solitaire.

When it’s a rainy weekend and there’s nothing good on TV and who cares about chores because we’re just going to sleep in the bed again tonight so why make it, and the kids are coming over on Monday and dammit THEY can clean the sink full of dishes for once… it’s nice to crack open the laptop and zip off a quick game of solitaire.

Except it’s never a quick game.

In fact it’s usually at least 8 games, and God forbid you lose 7 and win the 8th, because now you’re into it for at least another 11 games.

I don’t know about you, but my win to loss ratio is low, low, low. Low in-the-toilet low. I think I win 1 in 20 games or something like that. And do you ever notice, after you’ve lost like 5 games or so, the game seems to take pity on you and deals you out three aces, and gives you a great black and red mix so you’re moving cards all over and FEEL like, holy crap! I think I’m gonna win this one! And the paranoid part of your mind starts screaming “Don’t think that! Don’t think that! The game will know and you’ll lose!”

And then BLAM! You’re staring at a red 8 that you could’ve moved to that black 7, but somehow, despite having bionic eyes, you totally missed it. And after you finally move the red 8, the red jack underneath is turned over and you can’t get to the black ten in the card pile any more cuz it’s buried, and every time you go through the deck you think “maybe this time” but forget it because the red 9 that’s sitting on the LAST FACE DOWN CARD THAT’S SITTING ON THE GODDAMN 2 OF CLUBS YOU NEED TO WIN is saying “Dude, we like so gave you all those aces and you STILL lost?!?”

I hate solitaire.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Intoxicating wenches!

2008-09-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

I’m back to drinking caff coffee. For many years I didn’t drink caffeine because it was a part of my eating lifestyle plan. No caffeine, no sugar, but I did use cream. It was all about eating real and natural stuff. Don’t even bring up that I use sweetener. I’m not goddamned perfect, okay?

But part of our savings plan is to eliminate unnecessary spending. We’ve cut waaayyyy back on Starbucks–Jer-Bear never goes any more, and I only go occasionally with friends at work (decaf Americano, in case you were curious.)

So now we perk coffee at home. And for simplicity’s sake, because we both want a coffee shot in the morning, we make one pot and it’s caffeinated. And the other morning, after we’d each filled up our mugs, he says to me “I’m proud of you.” And I say “For what?” and he says “For drinking caffeinated coffee.” And I say “Thanks.” But inside I’m wondering does anyone congratulate a heroin addict when they pick up the spoon and cotton ball again?

And just so you know, right now as I re-read that last paragraph, I’m smiling in a smug way at my wit and sipping from my coffee mug as I polish off my third post in 5 minutes. Ahhhhh, Caffeine, you full-bosomed, intoxicating wench!

raffle, boating, Bayliner

The day started so good...

2008-09-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

and because we can't possibly help ourselves, we stopped by to visit "our" boat on our way to take the Jer-Bear's kids back to their mom.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Raffle Tickets & Small Countries

2008-09-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

You can't imagine our excitement as we all sat in the truck and watched Jer-Bear come out with our first raffle ticket purchase envelope! You'd have thought from our expressions that he was going to pull a frickin' Bayliner 300 from the envelope.

So of course I don't let anybody open it. We MUST CAPTURE IT PHOTOGRAPHICALLY FOR THE BLOG.

Lars bought 8 tickets. And as you can see from the postmark, bought them from Washington State. It's so nice to know our American neighbors feel it's important for our family to own a boat. In your honor, Lars, I have used the American spelling of "neighbors" and "honor", and as soon as I finish this blog post I will personally invade a small country.

So now you will have a 1 in 11 chance if YOU and you alone buy a ticket today. As the Godfather's Pizza commercial guy would say: "Do it!"

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Bayliner lovers: Unite!

2008-08-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

We haven't had a lot of luck finding other blogs–particularly Bayliner specific boating blogs–so we can generate some discussion and share boating ideas, dreams, etc.

However, here is one excellent blog we've found, right here in Blogger world:

http://captrichardrodriguez.blogspot.com/

If you boat in or around the pacific northwest, especially the Puget Sound, you should keep this guy's number in your back pocket. Also, he's got some pretty cools hats.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Crazy Idea #4 - The Weight Loss Scheme

2008-08-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

There's hundreds of these "cures" out there - just Google "lose 20 pounds in three days" and not only will you get around 410,000 websites, you'll get a list of Google ads on the right linking to more sites selling the "answer."

So what's wrong with us selling our own "answer"? All you have to do is eat properly and exercise. Pretty easy book, there. I just need to dress it up with some photos and stretch the story out to 4 or 5 pages. I can add great quotes like "Put down the cheeseburger!" and "Say 'No!' to that milkshake!" It's legitimate advice.

Hmmnn... why do some of these crazy ideas not sound so crazy?

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Don't freak out!

2008-08-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

But we've sold 3 raffle tickets. Okay, it's to our own kids and one of them's only 8, but SERIOUSLY–if we win the lottery this week and are able to buy our Bayliner, one of those kids is getting $500!

Right now, if you buy one ticket, you'll have a 1 in 4 chance of winning $500! Yes, I admit, you might not win for a few years (click on our SEXY ticket link at the top to read the details of the raffle), and you have to hope no one else buys a raffle ticket, but COME ON! Those odds are pretty awesome.

Buy a ticket and make our car ride to our post office box worth the gas.

raffle, boating

Crazy Idea #3: Dirty words like sex and boobs

2008-08-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: THERE ARE BAD WORDS IN THE POST THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH BOATING, BAYLINER OR ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.

I've been doing some research into how to increase traffic to this blog, and came across an idea that seems crazy and yet... no, it is crazy.

The advice was to put "buzz" words in blog headlines and content, so that when people search for it on Google, Yahoo or other search engines, our blog will come up.

Therefore, penis if I start incorporating big boobs particular words or sayings, sexy college girls, the theory is traffic to my blog masturbation will see a lot of traffic oral sex.

The downside is... having a bunch of wackos visit this blog. I guess that's okay, if they're BUYING RAFFLE TICKETS, you sick, lonely perverts!

So buy a ticket, okay?
raffle, boating

Keeping the day job

2008-08-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'm always incredibly impressed when I watch Jer-Bear work. He's very good at what he does, which is construction. He just automatically knows how to do stuff, and it spills into other areas, like when I ask him "If I'm sewing 4" wide quilt patches together with a 5/8" seam on each side, how wide..." and before I can finish he answers.

Here is Jer-Bear at work.

He's working on beautiful multi-level deck on a mountain. It has a gorgeous view from behind a beautiful cedar and glass panel railing. Check out our video here.

raffle, boating

Shoe Box Hero

2008-08-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week we walked into an actual bank with this:

We felt a tad bit embarrassed, but then we heard the Bayliner chant in our hearts (it's really just the word "Bayliner" over and over again, not an organized saying or anything) and any discomfort disappeared.

We are now the proud owners of a GIC. That's a guaranteed interest certificate. Based on our investment, we'll be pocketing a cool $2.35 a month! Holey mokey, someone better get us our captain's hat!

P.S. Baretrap shoes are the bomb–and I'm not just trying to suck up for corporate sponsorship. Although, dammit, that's a great idea.

Mom Had a Part In It Too: Jer-Bear Guest Post

2008-08-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

"When I was 12, Pa brought home an 8ft skiff he found floating in the waters in Alaska. My brother, Pa, and I had a few trout trips in that boat. I don't remember catching much but we had a good time. Then somewhere a 4hp Johnson motor turned up. Woo Hoo!!! Pa bolted it on the boat and turned us loose in the Puget sound!! Then he was off for another trip to Alaska.

Now Mom was in charge of hauling us and the boat to the water. I will tell you right now that we had the cleanest house and yard in Suquamish! HA HA HA HA!! If the chores weren't done, the little boat was stuck in drydock! Miller Bay was our fishin' hole but there weren't many fish in it. But it was all about being out on the water!

Thanks Mom for haulin' us around! Sometimes twice a day!"

by Jer-Bear

Crazy Idea #2 - Eat Fresh!

2008-08-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

Our latest plan isn't THAT crazy. We're going to go to Subway every day and buy a 21 oz. drink. On that size of drink you get their Scrabble game play pieces. Don't let them fool you - I read the rules and you DON'T have to buy a sandwich.

Also, we can mail S.A.S.E.'s for game pieces (cost=2 stamps and 2 envelopes.) We have until October 19 to play.

If you want to show us you support our goal, we DESPERATELY need you to send us a U, two Bs, a K and an F.

Welcome to our RAFFLE header!

2008-08-23T12:00:00.000-07:00

Just to really HAMMER IT HOME, we are selling raffle tickets. Please click on the header for the details.

Our hope is that the colourful header above will mesmerize you, much like the Amazing Kreskin could make people cluck like chickens (even now he is reading your mind!), and you'll be unable to NOT click on it and send 50¢ for a raffle ticket.

NOTE: No chickens will be harmed in the draw, despite how tasty they are. And chicken IS tasty. Indeed it is. Very tasty.

Fantasies of Kathie Lee Gifford

2008-08-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

There's an excellent blog called Dooce written by Heather B. Armstrong. I'll link to it at the END of this article, because she's a great writer and if I were you, I'd go over there the first link I get and maybe never make it back here.

Anyway, Heather B. Armstrong is pretty famous in the blogging world. As part and parcel of that fame, she gets invited onto talk shows to talk about how she blogs for a living. About a month or two ago, she was interviewed on whatever show Kathie Lee Gifford is on in the morning.

You can probably tell I'm not a big Kathie Lee fan otherwise I'd know her show's name. Personally, I think she's kind of fake, uptight and NOT a singer that holds any appeal to me (she does sing, right?) Anyway, KL was interviewing Heather B. Armstrong about blogging, and in the interview KL admits she's afraid of computers and rarely or never uses one. Quelle lame!

So in my fantasy, this blog makes the Jer-Bear and I famous. And somehow, through what will have to be a weird series of coincidences and unrelated conversations, our future publicist gets us on KL's lame-ass show. And in the interview - which she's yet again totally unprepared for, thereby completely losing it when she finds out the purpose of our blog is to tell the story of how we're raising money for our luxury Bayliner 300 - she tries to drill into our psyche and guilt us about starving kids, the homeless, world poverty and countries that can't make it to the Olympics and challenges us by saying "WHY are you NOT donating to a more worthy cause?!?"....

And I tell her to get stuffed.

Read some of Heather's blog posts and then watch this.

Early Boating Memories: Jer-Bear Guest Post

2008-08-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

"I was 3 or 4 when i drove a boat for the first time. It was my dad's boat, The Norsky. He was fishing at Point No Point after work and decided to take me with. The one thing I remember is him taking the wheel and saying "Watch out for the rocks" Oops, sorry Pa!!

As I got older, I started going after much bigger boats. Grandpa Ed had an old Tollycraft. I think it was about 25 or 28ft. It was a beautiful boat and Grandpa Ed and Grandpa Al both took care of it very well. Every time we would go to Astoria to visit, we could always count on a Sturgeon trip! Sometimes the fishing was slow and it was easier to catch bait in the bait bucket! One slow day when I was 8, Grandpa Al taught me to tie my first knot, a Bowline. I have never forgotten that day nor the knot.

The older I got, the more I was taught. My favorite lessons were the driving lessons. There is nothing like driving a boat. The sound and sight of water spraying out from the sides of the boat. Not to mention the look and sound of the water at the stern while you are cruising. Indescribable.

Then Grandpa Ed got the Top Gun! Now there was a boat! Another Tolly, but this time 36' with twin 502 cubic inch, fuel injected engines. Lots and lots of good times and unforgettable memories on the Top Gun. Fishing with both Grandfathers and my Pa, all in the same trip. The perfect guys fishing trip. Learning to pilot the boat into the boathouse. What a tight squeeze, but I did it twice and without damage! And who can forget the annual prepping of the Top Gun for the Regatta and winning first place? Truly memories that will never be forgotten.

Grandpa Al, Grandpa Ed, may you rest in peace. And Pa, many more good times to come!"

by Jer-Bear

Raffle update

2008-08-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

To-date we have sold 0 raffle tickets.

That's okay, don't feel guilty. We know this is a building kind of thing, and it might seem fly-by-nighty, but you'll only feel comfortable mailing us 50¢ once you get to know us better. So just keep reading this blog and eventually you'll realize what a DEAL winning $500 for 50¢ is.

Going to the top

2008-08-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

Last week I tracked down Bayliner's parent company. They are called Brunswick Corporation. Which is fate, because in my day job we once worked with a New Brunswick, Canada company, so there's a link!

Anyway, I wrote to both of them–corporate AND the boating division–expressing our passion for the Bayliner 300 and directing them to this blog. Why shouldn't they advertise on a site that is THIS PASSIONATE about their product, right?

And then I realized I wasn't sure I remembered to put our return address on anything but the outer envelope. Sigh.

So I found their PR dude online and e-mailed him. This was on Saturday. So far no e-mail beating down my gmail account.

No worries, though. Have you ever seen The Shawshank Redemption? I will turn this into a full blown letter writing campaign, wherein I finally break down their emotional and psychological barriers and get them to beg US to advertise on this blog.

However, I need lots of people to read this, so if you are reading now and love boating, send a link to this blog to your friends. It would be great to raise funds by NOT having to:

1) Sell our home, vehicles and other belongings
2) Sell our children
3) Steal - unless you've got a great idea on how NOT to get caught

Ticket Sales & Rocking Mom's World!

2008-08-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

We checked our post office box for raffle purchases. Here's what happened:

So no news there, but we did go to my mom's to help out with yard work.

When my dad passed away 2.5 years ago, my brother and I thought we'd be able to talk her into moving out of the big, almost 50-year-old home that needed many repairs to a lovely, safe condo. No luck. So from time to time Jer-Bear, the girls and I help out with a project. One time it was house-painting, another cleaning out the shed (that's ongoing, actually) and today it was landscaping.

Here's Jer-Bear starting around 9:30 a.m. Sunday morning:

We finished at 2:30 p.m. Check out the full project at our Flickr account

The catalyst

2008-08-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

I think Jer-Bear's passion for this boat has roots in his youth. He went boating an awful lot with his grandpa Ed. I got to meet grandpa Ed for the first time Christmas of 2007. Up til then, I'd only seen him on Jer-Bear's screensaver - both of them laughing and flipping off the photographer! I love that photo.

Shortly after the holidays, grandpa Ed became very sick. Cancer, among other health issues. Jer-Bear took this very hard. He'd told me, in his own way over a few different conversations, that his grandpa Ed was one of the most important and influential people in his life. Many of Jer-Bear's grandpa Ed stories involved boating and fishing. They did that a lot together.

Grandpa Ed finally passed almost three weeks ago. Two weeks ago, heading back from the funeral in Oregon, we stopped at a boat center and had a look around. The Bayliner 300 hooked us from the second we stepped onto her. It has been the catalyst for Jer-Bear's new look on life.

Everyone should have a catalyst that moves them onto a better path (if they need it). Don't you think?

Sell porn!?!

2008-08-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

I realized I've posted about our awesome raffle (check out our post under "raffle") and told you about our rejected circus freak idea, but haven't really dug into our legit ideas.

So here they are:

1) Win the lottery
2) Sell stuff on Ebay
3) Something involving the internet and making money (which turned out to be our raffle idea)

We never used to buy lottery tickets and have just started. So right away the odds are in our favor!

Jer-Bear put his bow on Ebay. That's a huge move for him, because I know he wanted to bow hunt up here for Canadian deer. I don't think it has any bids yet.

We didn't know what we'd do on the internet. Originally Jer-Bear just though we'd get people to send us 50¢. Then he refined it with the raffle idea.

Here are some rejected internet ideas:

- Sell porn
- Sell ideas on how to save gas
- Sell our children

Have you got any ideas? Please comment.

Our First Video... Without a Bayliner in it :(

2008-08-16T16:00:00.000-07:00

Since I want to video tape our journey, I needed to make sure:

1) My camera was up to snuff
2) I knew how to upload videos

Following is proof of both! It's completely unrelated to boating, BUT there
is a joke in it!

Crazy Idea #1 - Circus Freak

2008-08-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

Before you go all Child Protective Custody on me, I'll start by saying this was just an IDEA. And a discarded one, at that. We didn't pour over the phone book, looking up amusements, carnival, circus acts, entertainment, fairgrounds... I digress.

Our crazy idea was to force-feed one of our kids til they weighed around 400 pounds and lease them to the circus. I'm a responsible enough parent that I'd DEFINITELY negotiate a favourable buyout payment. However, there were some problems.

Between Jer-Bear and I we have 5 kids–4 regular ones and 1 we don't see all that much. 2 of these kids would never be able to eat enough, 1, like I said, we don't really see, and the smallest guy, Brandon, would probably explode after the first 5 bites. So Taylor was the winner, mostly because she likes chocolate. She's petite, but I think she'd be up to the challenge. The down side is I've gotten attached to her and like being able to see her whenever I want, without having to pay $10 to get into the carnival.

Our $500 Raffle

2008-08-13T22:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, you're probably reading this and thinking WTF, they're giving away $500? We TOTALLY are! All you have to do is buy a ticket for 50¢. And wait a little bit. Read on...

If you've read some of the other stories on this blog, you'll see that we're thinking of ways to make extra money for a boat. Now I don't know how long this will take, but with your help, it will go even faster.

Here's how the raffle will work:

1) Start off by putting your name and contact information on a piece of paper. If you like, add in your idea for a good boat name. We're always looking for ideas!

2) Tape two quarters to that piece of paper–in a decorative fashion, if you like–and put it in an envelope. You can be a rebel and tape five dimes, or any combination of coins. Sending quarters is not a requirement.

3) Put this address on the envelope:

Float Jeremy & Nala's Boat!
#2444 Unit 304-7592 Vedder Road
Sardis, BC
V2R 1B0
Canada

4) Put a stamp on the envelope. This is very important! Yes I know it means the cost of your raffle ticket is higher. Maybe higher than usual, because if you're not in Canada you need to make sure it has enough postage to GET to Canada. It's a small investment compared to $500. Get over it!

5) Deposit the envelope into a mail box. Or sneak it into the outgoing mail at your office. Whatever it takes, get it in the mail

Here's what will happen when we receive your envelope:

1) First, we will have an emotional welcoming party when we remove your envelope from the P.O. box. There may or may not be confetti and ticker tape.

2) Second, we will open your envelope with great care. We will reverently write your name on a raffle ticket. All tickets will go into a special container. We will video some of this process and post it so you can see it's ALL ABOVE BOARD!

3) We will deposit all the quarters or other coins in our Float our Boat bank account (which right now is a shoe box.)

4) Once we've achieved the goal of buying our boat, we'll dramatically draw one of the raffle tickets. There will be great fanfare and possibly singing. THAT is how special this draw will be!

5) We will record the exciting Ed McMahon-styles phone call to the lucky winner. IT MIGHT BE YOU!

Just so you know, we have no idea of the real rules and regulations, or if we're even ALLOWED to run a raffle like this. Isn't being bad fun?! The rules seem pretty fair, don't they? Comment if you have any better ideas.

Send a link to this blog to everyone you know! Buy as many tickets as you like. In fact, the more you buy, maybe the sooner the draw. As in... maybe even in this decade!

Thanks!

Dream & Goals

2008-08-13T07:25:00.000-07:00

As you can probably tell, I'm a person that strongly believes in the power of a dream or BHAG (Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal, in case the initials threw you.)

Jer-Bear's had some difficult times. I'm not going to go into details here–at least not yet–but most of the them have been financial. I've watched him struggle to make an adequate living up here in Canada since he moved up here, watched him fall further and further behind on his bills and have to make some difficult decisions. I saw him go from hopeful to dejected to demoralized. I know he'd turned his back on ever getting out of the hole. When you love someone, you do everything you can to bring them hope, but sometimes words can only do so much. They can't always dig deep enough to do the inspiring work you'd like them to.

But in recent weeks I've seen his attitude do a 180, and this week I watched Jer-Bear take the first steps to rectifying his financial situation. He said to me "When I'm sitting and relaxing on that boat, I don't want to have any worries. So I have to look after all those worries now."

My wish for everyone reading this, is that you find your own powerful dream.

Baby picture

2008-08-12T07:43:00.000-07:00

Here's our baby. Isn't she gorgeous?

We're not sure where we'll keep her when she's out of the water, since we live in a townhome complex with rules as flexible as a Russian gulag. But parking is just a triviality, isn't it?

Jer-Bear's cool widdit.

2008-08-11T18:16:00.002-07:00

I showed the blog to Jer-Bear and he's pretty comfortable with it. He typically plays it close to the vest about personal things.

Of course, I was clever to show this to him after only one blog post. I haven't written all the deeply personal stuff yet. Or the stuff about our sex life. Kidding! (Maybe.)

Watch for us on various boating forums and discussion groups. The only way to make dreams happen is to immerse yourself in the culture and tell yourself repeatedly that they are GOING to happen.

Bayliner 300, baby. Come to mamma!

Welcome to our dream

2008-08-11T13:01:00.000-07:00

See that guy in the banner? That's Jer-Bear, my boyfriend. Isn't he hot? He's sitting inside the engine hatch of a Bayliner 300. That's the expression he makes when he's TOTALLY LOVING something. In this case, dual V6s. :)

Yup, a Bayliner 300 is our dream. I'm going use this blog to tell you why that's our dream, although it will only be my opinion because I haven't presented any of these ideas to Jer-Bear yet. He doesn't even know I've put up this blog.

We've been together for over two years, and my sense is that he's at a crossroads in his life. He took me to see this boat two weeks ago. I fell in love with it and that's when we started down this strange and exciting path.

I hope you'll follow along with us on our journey to a (seemingly) impossible dream!