Welcome, new readers!

I just found out from an angry blog post comment that Bayliner Magazine published an article about us. Sweet!

To update you, the commenter called us idiots, and said we should earn enough to buy a boat like everyone else. Well, we were trying and came up with this blog and raffle idea as a way to do that. Sure, it's silly and likely impossible. But hey—it makes some fun reading.

For example, I heard back from Phil Collins "people." Turns out his office is in England, but he lives in Switzerland. He has kids that live here in B.C. And Mr. Anonymous will be happy, because he didn't buy a raffle ticket. No word back yet from Eric Clapton.

So let me know—are we idiots who think Obama will help us buy a Bayliner, or is this blog just an entertaining read? We're aiming for the latter, but if Mr. Obama wants to "stimulate" us, we won't turn him down.

Smooth waters!

Crazy Idea #6: Letters to Famous People

People write letters to lottery winners and celebrities all the time, right? So why not write to famous people we think would be sympathetic to our massive dream??

Watch for our letters later this week. Any response we receive will be posted here. Hopefully they'll buy a few raffle tickets too!

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Mmmmm.... chocolate!

We have been obsessively entering this contest at Cadbury's website. I have never bought so much chocolate in my life!! You can enter each chocolate bar's UPC code. So far, I have almost 100 entries.

A different part of this promotion is a photo contest. We specially baked a cake and covered it with individual Caramilk pieces. We wrapped our party hats in the foil from the bars too.

I don't know if this photo will be one of the three we're allowed to enter, but isn't Brandon's expression hilarious?


Happy 40th birthday, Caramilk!

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Crazy Idea #5 - Blackmail

When you think of all those forwarded e-mail floating around that have all those gooey pictures of kittens and stuff, and say things like "if you forward this to seven friends in the next seven minutes you'll have seven wishes come true" you have to wonder... do people do that?

They must, because people will buy magic crystals from the ads in the back of magazines like The Enquirer. And sea monkeys from the backs of comic books. My mom once told me sea monkeys were just brine shrimp. I didn't understand why that was supposed to burst my bubble, cuz who cared what they really were when the little girl ones had bouncy hair and a hair ribbon!


I digress.

So sending those e-mail is a kind of emotional blackmail. "How dare you not forward good thoughts to seven friends!" And it's not like they're promising bad luck, they're promising the good kind! Life maybe getting a parking spot right in front of the grocery store, or (in Canada) finding a quarter left in the buggy so you don't have to go back to your car in the pouring rain to go through your ashtray-slash-change drawer for that elusive quarter.

But how can I send an e-mail that emotionally blackmails people into buying a raffle ticket. I just asked Jer-bear and he said I should put "Hey guys, forward this to seven of your friends and you'll wake up with seven inches." I don't know if seven inches is good or not, or if I should even be putting that in this blog, but what the hell. It sounds like something a guy would do, and it means I don't have to put "boobs" or "hot college girls" in here superfluously.

Oh, he just qualified that idea with "Buy a raffle ticket and gain an extra inch."

I think the wrong one of us is in advertising.

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Crazy Idea #4 - The Weight Loss Scheme

There's hundreds of these "cures" out there - just Google "lose 20 pounds in three days" and not only will you get around 410,000 websites, you'll get a list of Google ads on the right linking to more sites selling the "answer."

So what's wrong with us selling our own "answer"? All you have to do is eat properly and exercise. Pretty easy book, there. I just need to dress it up with some photos and stretch the story out to 4 or 5 pages. I can add great quotes like "Put down the cheeseburger!" and "Say 'No!' to that milkshake!" It's legitimate advice.

Hmmnn... why do some of these crazy ideas not sound so crazy?

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Crazy Idea #3: Dirty words like sex and boobs

DISCLAIMER: THERE ARE BAD WORDS IN THE POST THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH BOATING, BAYLINER OR ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.

I've been doing some research into how to increase traffic to this blog, and came across an idea that seems crazy and yet... no, it is crazy.

The advice was to put "buzz" words in blog headlines and content, so that when people search for it on Google, Yahoo or other search engines, our blog will come up.

Therefore, penis if I start incorporating big boobs particular words or sayings, sexy college girls, the theory is traffic to my blog masturbation will see a lot of traffic oral sex.

The downside is... having a bunch of wackos visit this blog. I guess that's okay, if they're BUYING RAFFLE TICKETS, you sick, lonely perverts!

So buy a ticket, okay?
raffle, boating

Crazy Idea #2 - Eat Fresh!

Our latest plan isn't THAT crazy. We're going to go to Subway every day and buy a 21 oz. drink. On that size of drink you get their Scrabble game play pieces. Don't let them fool you - I read the rules and you DON'T have to buy a sandwich.

Also, we can mail S.A.S.E.'s for game pieces (cost=2 stamps and 2 envelopes.) We have until October 19 to play.

If you want to show us you support our goal, we DESPERATELY need you to send us a U, two Bs, a K and an F.

Crazy Idea #1 - Circus Freak

Before you go all Child Protective Custody on me, I'll start by saying this was just an IDEA. And a discarded one, at that. We didn't pour over the phone book, looking up amusements, carnival, circus acts, entertainment, fairgrounds... I digress.

Our crazy idea was to force-feed one of our kids til they weighed around 400 pounds and lease them to the circus. I'm a responsible enough parent that I'd DEFINITELY negotiate a favourable buyout payment. However, there were some problems.

Between Jer-Bear and I we have 5 kids–4 regular ones and 1 we don't see all that much. 2 of these kids would never be able to eat enough, 1, like I said, we don't really see, and the smallest guy, Brandon, would probably explode after the first 5 bites. So Taylor was the winner, mostly because she likes chocolate. She's petite, but I think she'd be up to the challenge. The down side is I've gotten attached to her and like being able to see her whenever I want, without having to pay $10 to get into the carnival.