Welcome, new readers!

I just found out from an angry blog post comment that Bayliner Magazine published an article about us. Sweet!

To update you, the commenter called us idiots, and said we should earn enough to buy a boat like everyone else. Well, we were trying and came up with this blog and raffle idea as a way to do that. Sure, it's silly and likely impossible. But hey—it makes some fun reading.

For example, I heard back from Phil Collins "people." Turns out his office is in England, but he lives in Switzerland. He has kids that live here in B.C. And Mr. Anonymous will be happy, because he didn't buy a raffle ticket. No word back yet from Eric Clapton.

So let me know—are we idiots who think Obama will help us buy a Bayliner, or is this blog just an entertaining read? We're aiming for the latter, but if Mr. Obama wants to "stimulate" us, we won't turn him down.

Smooth waters!

Address change!

Hey, everyone! You can still buy raffle tickets, no worries there, but please send your orders to this address:

#31-6450 Blackwood Lane
Chilliwack, BC
V2R 5Z3

Thanks!

FREE Bayliner cont'd

I had to show the actual post here, because I still can't believe it.



Damn, I guess it's kinda hard to read, huh? Okay, I'll type it out.

Yes! Free. All you have to do is come pick it up. This boat wsa sunk due to IKE in about 4 feet of water. Insurance has processed it as a "Total Loss" and has now left me to dispose of it. I will even give you the clear title. The boat was removed from the water approx. 4 days after the storm. If I don't find someone who wants my baby, it will break my heart to cut her up and just throw her away. Hull is in great shape and would make a good project for someone who has the time and resources.

Now, we're trying to get pictures, because in my mind giving away a 1995 2855 Ciera seems pretty extreme. I will be very interested to see what "Total Loss" actually looks like!

We'll keep you posted. In the meantime, I don't care what the flippin' economy is doing - buy some rafflle tix you guys!


raffle, boating, Bayliner

More chances to win...

because NOW you can buy one ticket for 50¢

OR

three tickets for a $1!

Crap, that's one ticket for free! How can you turn that down? You'd have to be insane or mathematically challenged.

Get our address by clicking on this raffle image:


raffle, boating, Bayliner

Those aren't FLUFFY PILLOWS!!

...they are beautiful fluffy clouds.



Don't they look so soft? Don't you want to reach out and click on their fluffiness...

Oops! It linked you to our raffle draw! Don't fluffy, pretty clouds make you want to buy a raffle ticket? Don't they?

Raffle Tickets & Small Countries

You can't imagine our excitement as we all sat in the truck and watched Jer-Bear come out with our first raffle ticket purchase envelope! You'd have thought from our expressions that he was going to pull a frickin' Bayliner 300 from the envelope.


So of course I don't let anybody open it. We MUST CAPTURE IT PHOTOGRAPHICALLY FOR THE BLOG.

Lars bought 8 tickets. And as you can see from the postmark, bought them from Washington State. It's so nice to know our American neighbors feel it's important for our family to own a boat. In your honor, Lars, I have used the American spelling of "neighbors" and "honor", and as soon as I finish this blog post I will personally invade a small country.

So now you will have a 1 in 11 chance if YOU and you alone buy a ticket today. As the Godfather's Pizza commercial guy would say: "Do it!"

raffle, boating, Bayliner

Don't freak out!

But we've sold 3 raffle tickets. Okay, it's to our own kids and one of them's only 8, but SERIOUSLY–if we win the lottery this week and are able to buy our Bayliner, one of those kids is getting $500!



Right now, if you buy one ticket, you'll have a 1 in 4 chance of winning $500! Yes, I admit, you might not win for a few years (click on our SEXY ticket link at the top to read the details of the raffle), and you have to hope no one else buys a raffle ticket, but COME ON! Those odds are pretty awesome.

Buy a ticket and make our car ride to our post office box worth the gas.

raffle, boating

Crazy Idea #3: Dirty words like sex and boobs

DISCLAIMER: THERE ARE BAD WORDS IN THE POST THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH BOATING, BAYLINER OR ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.

I've been doing some research into how to increase traffic to this blog, and came across an idea that seems crazy and yet... no, it is crazy.

The advice was to put "buzz" words in blog headlines and content, so that when people search for it on Google, Yahoo or other search engines, our blog will come up.

Therefore, penis if I start incorporating big boobs particular words or sayings, sexy college girls, the theory is traffic to my blog masturbation will see a lot of traffic oral sex.

The downside is... having a bunch of wackos visit this blog. I guess that's okay, if they're BUYING RAFFLE TICKETS, you sick, lonely perverts!

So buy a ticket, okay?
raffle, boating

Welcome to our RAFFLE header!

Just to really HAMMER IT HOME, we are selling raffle tickets. Please click on the header for the details.

Our hope is that the colourful header above will mesmerize you, much like the Amazing Kreskin could make people cluck like chickens (even now he is reading your mind!), and you'll be unable to NOT click on it and send 50¢ for a raffle ticket.

NOTE: No chickens will be harmed in the draw, despite how tasty they are. And chicken IS tasty. Indeed it is. Very tasty.

Raffle update

To-date we have sold 0 raffle tickets.

That's okay, don't feel guilty. We know this is a building kind of thing, and it might seem fly-by-nighty, but you'll only feel comfortable mailing us 50¢ once you get to know us better. So just keep reading this blog and eventually you'll realize what a DEAL winning $500 for 50¢ is.

Our $500 Raffle

Okay, you're probably reading this and thinking WTF, they're giving away $500? We TOTALLY are! All you have to do is buy a ticket for 50¢. And wait a little bit. Read on...

If you've read some of the other stories on this blog, you'll see that we're thinking of ways to make extra money for a boat. Now I don't know how long this will take, but with your help, it will go even faster.

Here's how the raffle will work:

1) Start off by putting your name and contact information on a piece of paper. If you like, add in your idea for a good boat name. We're always looking for ideas!

2) Tape two quarters to that piece of paper–in a decorative fashion, if you like–and put it in an envelope. You can be a rebel and tape five dimes, or any combination of coins. Sending quarters is not a requirement.

3) Put this address on the envelope:

Float Jeremy & Nala's Boat!
#2444 Unit 304-7592 Vedder Road
Sardis, BC
V2R 1B0
Canada

4) Put a stamp on the envelope. This is very important! Yes I know it means the cost of your raffle ticket is higher. Maybe higher than usual, because if you're not in Canada you need to make sure it has enough postage to GET to Canada. It's a small investment compared to $500. Get over it!

5) Deposit the envelope into a mail box. Or sneak it into the outgoing mail at your office. Whatever it takes, get it in the mail

Here's what will happen when we receive your envelope:

1) First, we will have an emotional welcoming party when we remove your envelope from the P.O. box. There may or may not be confetti and ticker tape.

2) Second, we will open your envelope with great care. We will reverently write your name on a raffle ticket. All tickets will go into a special container. We will video some of this process and post it so you can see it's ALL ABOVE BOARD!

3) We will deposit all the quarters or other coins in our Float our Boat bank account (which right now is a shoe box.)

4) Once we've achieved the goal of buying our boat, we'll dramatically draw one of the raffle tickets. There will be great fanfare and possibly singing. THAT is how special this draw will be!

5) We will record the exciting Ed McMahon-styles phone call to the lucky winner. IT MIGHT BE YOU!

Just so you know, we have no idea of the real rules and regulations, or if we're even ALLOWED to run a raffle like this. Isn't being bad fun?! The rules seem pretty fair, don't they? Comment if you have any better ideas.

Send a link to this blog to everyone you know! Buy as many tickets as you like. In fact, the more you buy, maybe the sooner the draw. As in... maybe even in this decade!

Thanks!